New Year's Affirmations
by unlikelyRLshipper
Summary: Utter D/L fluff. Danny and Lindsay celebrate the beginning of 2010 while some reflections on their past year together. I'm aware that it's more than a week into the new year, but I'm pretending that it's Jan. 1st.


**OK – so I came up with this just before the New Year, and because of a combination of writer's block and the craziness of the beginning of a new semester, it had taken me until now to finish it. So let's just ignore the fact that it's more than a week into the New Year and pretend like it's Jan. 1 again.**

**I don't own CSI:NY. I have also never been to NY for New Year's (though I watch Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve every year), so if something seems unrealistic, it is completely and utterly my fault.**

**Enjoy!!! **

**New Year's Affirmations**

While nearly 1 million people had crammed themselves into New York's Times Square to welcome in 2010 and the beginning of a new decade, Danny Messer was quite content to be marking the occasion in a more quiet fashion, at home with just his wife and their daughter. This past year had been the most life changing one for him. Not only had he married the most beautiful and intelligent woman in the world, his Montana, but they'd also become parents to the adorable Lucy. Danny truly felt that he had grown into himself by becoming a husband and father, and everyday he was thankful that he got to share his life with them both.

Yet despite the monumental moments of happiness, 2009 was also marked by the death of his good friend Detective Jessica Angell and by a shootout that could have forever changed his life. Danny tried not to think about the image of his blood-covered hand or the sheer panic he saw cross Lindsay's face before she focused on keeping him calm.

His recovery had been a slow and grueling process, further complicated by the grief he, Lindsay, and the rest of the team were feeling over the loss of one of their own. Danny had almost completely lost hope that he would be able to walk again and not be consumed by pain, but it had been the love and support of Lindsay and Lucy that kept him going through the darkest days of his recovery. They had come a long way as a family in the past year, and it was time to celebrate that achievement by welcoming in 2010 and the hope for the future that it brought.

At 11:45, Danny placed his sleeping daughter into her snowsuit and grabbed his and Lindsay's jackets out of the closet, ready to make the trek up to the roof and at least catch a glimpse of the ball falling. It had become a tradition of sorts for the couple, as they had done the same thing the previous year. On that night, with only the smallest outward indication that Lindsay was pregnant, they celebrated the beginning of 2009 full of both excitement and nervousness, ready to face what their future held for them as a family.

"You ready to go?" Danny asked his wife. Lindsay merely smiled and nodded, taking his free hand in hers as they exited the apartment.

The couple, with Lucy still fast asleep, now in her car seat, quickly climbed the 2 flights of stairs to the roof of their building. They were surprised to find themselves alone on the roof, but the steady rainfall was likely to blame for the empty roof. Danny set the car seat down on a cleared piece of the roof and placed the spare blanket he had brought in case it was cold over it, completely sheltering Lucy from the rain and the cold. He looked over at Lindsay, whose sole focus was on the faint image of the lit ball and smiled, reminded once again that the novelties of New York still amazed the woman from Montana. Deciding not to interrupt her, Danny chose to stand behind her, encircle her waist with his arms and watch the ball with her.

They stood there for several minutes until Lindsay loosened one of Danny's arms and yanked his sleeve up to reveal his watch. Sneaking a peak at it himself over her shoulder, he noticed that it was 11:55. _Time to share what's been on my mind_ he thought to himself before taking a big breath and speaking.

"Lindsay, I…" Danny was almost immediately cut off by Lindsay's hand coming up to cover his mouth while she expertly turned around in his embrace at the same time. He gazed down at her in confusion.

"I know you probably have something to say to me, but right now I just want you to listen OK?" Lindsay's hand left his mouth and he nodded. Taking a deep breath herself, Lindsay began.

"This past year with you has been amazing, despite the rough patches we've had to endure. When it started, I was only a couple of months pregnant and we were still in the early stages of rebuilding our relationship. Maybe we were crazy to try and work in us while also preparing for parenthood, but we made it work." Danny smiled and nodded in agreement.

"And then to complicate things even more, we took a leap and got married. Despite what everyone may have said to our faces, I think that they all thought we were a little crazy to have an impromptu wedding performed by a city clerk with our boss and a co-worker as witnesses. My parents were in shock when I told them and I'm pretty sure they're still under the impression that we're gonna have a formal wedding, but I don't really want one. What we did was perfect for us. Then I was gone for over a month visiting my family, which I loved, don't get me wrong, but I missed you so much. It was a crazy start to our marriage, but your suspension allowed us to make up for lost time." Lindsay let that comment lie without any further elaboration, but she knew that Danny would pick up on her multiple meanings.

"I finally went into labour and our beautiful Lucy came into the world. That was one of the best days of my life – even though parts of it are kinda fuzzy because of the drugs." It was Lindsay's turn to smile at the memory before continuing on. "No matter how many times you told me that I did all the work and you just stood there, I don't think I could've done it without you there with me.

"Everything was starting to come together: we were solid, we were managing to juggle Lucy and work – and then Angell died and you got shot. Grieving for her and for Don and trying to come to terms with your condition at the same time was really hard. I was happy to take you however I could get you, but to see you struggle so much with your recovery was gut wrenching, but it made me more determined than ever to help you see that all hope was not yet lost.

"And I was right: you got up out of that wheelchair and walked again, just like I knew you would. I was so proud of you when I found you standing with Lucy in the nursery. And now you're almost back at 100 percent and I'm thankful everyday for that. I still can't believe at times how lucky I am to have both you and Lucy in my life. Your love and support keep me going and I never want to lose that, or either of you."

Letting out a quick breath and wiping at her eyes as Danny did the same, Lindsay added one final remark. "OK, you can say what was on your mind now. I just needed to get that out." Danny started chuckling a little bit, leaving Lindsay quite confused.

"Well, you just summed up everything I was thinking, so I'm not gonna try to top that. However, I do want to comment on the fact that it's raining right now. I was never that good at high school English, but I think I remember something about rain being a metaphor for cleansing and renewal – or something like that."

Lindsay couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips as Danny tried to remember his high school English class. Danny pretended like he didn't hear it and continued on.

"Forget all that – rain is now our thing. It brought you to me after your rainwalk when I had all but given up hope on there being an 'us' and that night brought us Lucy. It gave me the hope that I could walk again with only a 10 percent chance when a 10 percent chance of rain turned into a thunderstorm and my foot moved. And here we are now, about to ring in 2010 and it's raining again. Every time it rains, it reminds me of how far we've come together to get to here and now, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I love you Lindsay."

"I love you too Danny."

Quickly glancing down at his watch, Danny noticed that it was 11:59:55. Deciding to forgo the countdown, he pulled Lindsay into his body and their lips met in a slow passionate kiss.

On the streets below them, people were shouting "Happy New Year" and cars passing on the street were honking their horns in celebration, but both of these things went unnoticed by the entire Messer family: Lucy was still asleep and Danny and Lindsay were lost in each other, exchanging their love and their hopes for the future in a single kiss.

**Thanks for reading!!!!**


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